Highs and Lows

First of all, I really appreciate all of the hard work that went into putting this class together. Who knew so many people would register! I am amazed by the number of people in this class and the diversity – there are students from all over the world! Where else could I take such a multi-cultural class.

I definitely have gotten out of this class what I have put into it. I can tell those weeks that I just didn’t have the motivation to do all that was asked of me and those weeks that I loved every minute and wanted more. Unfortunately for me, this last week I have been sick most of it and then had to play catch-up with work and housework, so I have not had the time or energy to finish the class as I would have liked.

I do want to say how valuable I found the goal setting and goal check ins to be. I’m a pretty self-disciplined person, but doing an online class requires a lot even for me. The goal setting and check ins kept me on track and focused so I could complete the course and feel like I achieved something. Thank you Catherine for keeping me motivated.

Stacy – you are an awesome instructor and I look forward to visiting your class when I travel that way. Watching your classes gave me good ideas on how to sequence and flow my own classes. I really liked in this session how you specifically matched the breath with the movements. That brought home to me how you can really demonstrate to students how mindful yoga practice is.

Finally, thank you for putting together a class that doesn’t say how destructive or “bad” technology is, but attempts to teach us how to live a healthy, sane life WITH technology, because it isn’t going to go away. 🙂

All in all I would say the class has been a success for me. I was working toward a certificate, but realized too late that just reading and “liking” someone’s post wasn’t real interaction (takes a true introvert to interpret interaction that way). But whatever the outcome, I am glad I took the class and would recommend it to others who are interested in mindfulness and yoga.

I would like to say to all of those who joined me in taking this class and stuck with it, congratulations. I hope you feel you are better for it. Namaste…

The Busyness of Life

It’s been Thanksgiving holiday week, and I took some days so I would have the whole week off.  Earlier this week my husband, Woodrow, and I worked around the house and ran errands preparing for a houseful for the holiday. I rarely have family get togethers at my house, so I was feeling a little stressed.  The good news is, the day was a success and everyone seemed happy and full when they left or went to bed.

Needless to say, I have not devoted time to my goals this week.  I did squeeze in some yoga yesterday morning and practiced a little bit of meditation, that’s about all. However, I have been pretty good about keeping my weekly goal of removing myself from technology about an hour before I go to sleep.  Since I wasn’t at work and was busy cleaning and shopping, I did find myself using technology for my breaks. But really, being aware of the fact that I am choosing to use technology for my breaks rather than go for a walk or playing with my dogs as a break shows that this process is working. I am aware of making that choice rather than mindlessly going to that form of entertainment.

Overall, the practice of mindfulness is beginning to permeate my life again. I am beginning to feel that peace and centeredness I felt a year ago. The pause Catherine spoke of in an earlier class, is coming to me almost organically; in other words, I believe practicing being aware of my behavior, feelings, etc. as much as possible and noticing the details of life at that moment creates a mindful way of living naturally.

I’m happy where my goals have taken me and feel pretty good about where I am – in all senses of that statement. 🙂

Namaste

Kristin Neff Rocks!

I just listened/watched the interview with Kristin Neff on self-compassion. What a wonderful practice.  As I mentioned before, I have struggled with my daughter’s addictions and some of my own.  I find that self-compassion is a must for me to survive some of the feelings I have had regarding this struggle.  Every parent I have talked to with a child or children with addiction blames themselves to some degree.  Self-compassion has helped me deal with that terrible sense of responsibility, self-blame, and, yes, even self-hatred.

Not only does this help the parent of an addict, but I believe this self-compassion is helpful for the addict.  Addicts so often are filled with self-doubt, self-hate, remorse, shame, etc.  I believe practicing self-compassion can allow them to become more successful at living a sober and clean life for the same reasons Dr. Neff said self-compassion is a motivating force.

I will most definitely be checking out Dr. Neff’s book.  She has just won herself a new fan.

The Off Switch…

or should that be the Awareness Switch. Because when I turn off the switch, I turn on the awareness.  I like that experience of taking that mindful moment in the middle of a hectic day. I sit back, take some deep breaths, really look around you and take note of all of the objects around me. I try to assume a stranger’s perspective sometimes, seeing the things around me for the first time.

Feeling this connectedness to me naturally increases my sense of compassion for others, as well as myself. Through interacting with others compassionately whether you like the person or not is a process of removing the ego from the equation. In other words, Common Humanity seems to be a natural by product of mindful living.

Finally, goal assessment. Gosh, I seem to be struggling with fully committing myself to my goals. I need to bring some of the self-compassion into this assessment. I tend to judge myself harshly when it comes to whether I am meeting my goals. I am like a horse fast out the gate who ends up in the middle of the pack by the end of the race.  Mindfully accepting my imperfections or weaknesses is a difficulty concept for me that will definitely take time and practice.

Failing or Just Human?

I originally was going to title this blog as just “Failing” because I didn’t think I’d done what I should for this week’s class.  However, when I looked back, I realized I had done much better than I realized. I had incorporated different pauses to my work day besides grabbing my phone or pulling something up online. I had talked and chatted with co-workers instead and even went to lunch with them one day. This is progress for an introvert like me. I also have been successful in not looking at a digital device an hour before I go to sleep; as a result, I’m reading more or listening to music – both things I really love and that soothe me.

I will continue with the goals I have set for myself since they seem to be working. I will work to increase ways to find breaks in my day besides using technology as a default escape. I don’t know that I feel any real benefit from my new behavior, but that usually takes time and often is recognized in hindsight.

Digital Withdrawal

Little did I realize how dependent I was on my digital devices.  Whenever I want a break from what I’m working on, I reach for my phone to check personal email, social media, and the like. If I don’t reach for my phone, I pull up the news or a online game/puzzle on my PC or laptop.  Point being, I do not disconnect from my digital items when I take a break.  Finding something else to give my brain a break from work is proving challenging.

I understand the concept of sitting back and taking 5 deep breaths and just being; that’s very mindful, and that is what I aspire to. However, I find it is sort of like when I have a choice between an apple and a piece of chocolate; I know which I SHOULD eat, but I find myself still reaching for the chocolate.  Same for my breaks – I know this is the time to take a mental break and to find something besides a digital item to enjoy that break, but I still find myself reaching for the phone or pulling up the news.

Just as what was discussed in changing habits and wiring in the pause, I need to begin practicing what is being taught.  I like the idea of wiring in the pause before reaching for the device or laptop and have used it a couple of times, and it works.  It’s now just a matter of working on consistency.

As a result of this, I will make my daily goal to replace one of my breaks with a short walk.  This will work to support my week’s goal of giving up using an electronic device an hour before I go to bed and replacing it with a gentle yoga practice.  This will support my overall goal for the class to incorporate a practice of mindfulness (the walk) and yoga into my daily life again.

Here’s to changing behaviors!

Wonderful World of Well-Being

I am loving this section.  This is what I have been missing in my life for the past year. About 6 years ago my daughter’s life started spinning out of control due to addiction to drugs and alcohol. I had just recently gotten my life together due to similar demons. Let me tell you, suffering from addiction personally is nothing compared to having someone you love suffer from addictions. I felt totally powerless to help her, and, according to Al-Anon, I was.

What saved me was yoga and the practice of mindfulness (and Al-Anon). Mindfulness especially was important to me at this time because I would tend to worry and obsess about my daughter. Through mindfulness I could bring myself back to the here and now, to what was happening at that moment.  That is important when your world and your mind are spinning out of control.

Yoga helped me train my mind further to focus and to regulate my breathing. I have gotten pretty good at recognizing when my breathing is getting shallow (when I’m anxious) and purposefully deepening my breath. Also, while doing the poses, I learned to “go inside myself” and really pay attention to my body and my muscles. This is when yoga became more to me than poses to hold, but a way for me to find comfort in my body.

So what happened over this past year? How did I lose this wonderful state of well-being?  I got complacent. I stopped paying attention.

Something that Rick Hanson said in his interview about meditation is what I feel like right now with relearning to take care of myself through yoga and mindfulness; I feel like I am coming home to myself.

Namaste…

Checking in…

I like that term.  It can mean so many things.  I may just be checking in to see how my daughter or my sister is doing. I may be checking in with a co-worker or employee to make sure all is on track. I may be telling my yoga students to take a moment to check in with themselves before beginning their practice. Generally, though, the term conveys caring, caring about other’s well-being, or more importantly, your own well-being. Today I’m checking in with myself. I have had a couple of items of really good news today and I’m feeling high as a kite. It’s surprising how life can look so linear when you look back on it.

The first bit of news was there may be a yoga class I can teach right here in the tiny little community where I live.  Those opportunities are few and very far between, so I’m very excited about this chance to teach so close to home. I go for an interview tomorrow at 1:00 (fingers crossed).

Second, I am taking a grant proposal writing certification course which I’ll be finishing up this weekend. A professor I work with who plays music with my husband just was promoted to Associate Provost for Research and Development and Dean of Graduate Studies. When I saw him this evening he immediately told me he wants me to write grant proposals for them. He’s familiar with my writing from the work I do at the university, so he was really excited about my writing for his department.  I was equally excited to have the opportunity.

While working on these certifications – teaching yoga, grant proposal writing- I have wondered why am I doing this? I live in a town of barely 1,000 people and its a rural area. Then things like this happen and I it makes me believe that there is something to this thing called life. It’s not all just grasping at straws in the dark.

 

Blips Along the Way

Just as I’m prepared to spend a little time practicing yoga for myself, I have my routine wellness check up and find out I have developed high blood pressure.  Oh no! I think, No inversions?  I love inversions. I get myself to the doctor and am relieved she thinks it’s only temporary due to some medication I have been on and am getting off.  So, with blood pressure slowly getting back to normal (thanks to modern medicine in this case), I get to practice inversions again.

Then, today, I binge watch the Off-the Mat lectures and am so inspired to reclaim the sense of well-being and calm I had when I was regularly practicing mindfulness and doing yoga for myself (in addition to teaching).  And to top things off, they quote my hero, Jon Kabat-Zinn.  He taught me how to BE.

Anyway, to wrap this up, my goal for successfully completing this class is to log in to the course at least once a week and to journal 2-3 times a week.

I look forward to hearing from others your goals and experiences so far.

Re-Beginnings

How many times have I begun again?  A lot.  But that’s okay. I don’t always start over from the very beginning, but sometimes I do. This time, I’m just going back to pick back up where I left peace and tranquility behind.

Just last year I was hard at work on myself, studying and practicing mindfulness, practicing yoga and meditation every day and fasting twice a week.  I was happy.  How do things change without us seeming to notice?  I know I can’t look back and say this or this happened and caused me to stop x, y or z.  It was a gradual falling away from myself, from taking good care of myself.

Now the prospect of restarting all of that seems monumental.  How did I get to that point last year, I wonder to myself.  I have to step back and realize that I took individual steps and nothing occurred instantaneously.  So, I’ll call this rebeginnings, because I am ready to start taking those individual steps again.